"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past will be different"

When I first heard Iyanla Vanzant say this on the Oprah Winifrey Show some 10 or so years ago, I thought I would never really be able to forgave as aspects of my past seemed so unfair. If only... why?... why not?... how could they/she/he/it?... if only they would change... But unless they wish it, you can't expect them to change just because you have, nor can you expect them to start to talk to you, to support you, to empathise, when they hadn't really before. Luckily I have a supportive hubby and son.

Now I am beginning to understand what Iyanla said and am starting to give up that hope and its negativity, to work towards letting go. I am beginning to forgive, I must learn how to forget.