The Renewed Joys of Puddle-Jumping

As a little child I used to love to put on my welly boots and splashing through puddles, but after 5 years old it stopped - no more wellies.

Skip forward nearly 40 years. It's been raining most of last week and there's more forecast for this week. So in the vein of "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade", son and I put on our wellies and wet weather gear and today, we went puddle-jumping. As it happened the rain stayed off for our walk and afterwards we had a slice of chocolate cake and pepsi. We walked a couple of miles and studied slugs, birds, ducks and snails on our puddle-trek. Ethan managed to get muddy water over his glasses, but with all the waterproof clothing we were toasty in the wet. We'll definitely be doing it again sometime soon :)

xx

Don't Touch It

"Don't touch it,

You'll break it"

And that's how it was

Blame and fault already assigned

Before I'd even started.

This was always such a strong parental message to me as a child (and not for spider's webs, but the image suited in my mind), along with "Don't, you'll ruin it". I'm sure this is why I get creative blocks, where I have an idea, but am unable to get it onto paper, because if I do, "I'll ruin it" and can't see beyond that at times. Despite everything I'm still doing my OU course and hoping to improve my essay average this time as I'm going to just concentrate on the task in hand rather than completing all the readings not covered by assignments. Maybe only half a picture but better than none at all xx

When My Dad Left - written over 20 years ago

Nineteen year.
And yet a stranger overnight.
Can someone so close
Become so far in such a short time?
It appears yes.
And how quickly the heart contracts
When presented with reality.
Devoid of emotion now
Not hate, nor love.
Nothing.
Memories wither, faces merge
And life goes on...
Just on a different plane.
The same players
Just different characters,
Different scenes.
But the lesson learnt has a bitter taste
And effects everlasting
The future isn't predictable
And nothing lasts forever
But no one believes when told
Except those who have learnt.




I wrote those words just after my dad walked out. At the time that act destroyed my trust and I felt that life had sold me a lie - the happy ever after. Looking at those words, again, over 20 years later and today on my 14th wedding anniversary, it represented how I felt then and reflects some of the reasons I stopped talking to my dad nearly 4 years ago now. I did try to maintain a relationship for my son's sake, but I was unable to get him to give us a day that we could go to see him after 2 years of asking, and now my dad won't contact me of his volition as "it's not his turn to phone". Last time he saw my son was about 8 years ago, over half my son's lifetime missed. Hubby, son and I are going out for an anniversary meal, and yes the future isn't predictable, but trust is back, we're doing just fine and today is good :) xx

My notebook of "Poems"

After much searching, and then fearing the worst, I've finally found the notebook of "poems" I wrote when I was about 19 ish. This is one of those from the notebook that I wanted to share with you from then... xx

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor...

Who am I?
Someone's daughter, sister, lover
But not myself.
I belong, not assert
A book whose cover is chosen.
I settle, then life is upset.
I am confused, with nowhere to go.
And the day nears,
The day that I dread;
The day that I have to decide,
Who I am.

Summer holiday reds

Today's the first day of my son's summer holidays and previously I've dreaded the summer break. As a child it meant being abandoned by dad at a caravan site in Devon with my brother and mum for 4 straight weeks together in a 4-berth tourer, come rain or shine. The first week or so was the worst, with bickering and grumbles. Then we would get into the rhythm of the sea and go surfing in time with the tides, and the time in the small caravan became more bearable. When Ethan was smaller, I would get irritated a lot with tiredness and depression and so my dreads of the long summer break would return, although I did try to break up the weeks as much as possible with short trips to my mum's or day trips out to museums etc, one a week.

This year however our summer project, along with day trips out, is for Eth and me to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. I played folk guitar when I was at primary school and learnt to play classical guitar badly for a few years at secondary school, but it's some 30 years since I last played. Today we went to get our guitars, music stands, books, guitar straps, plectrums etc, and we're both chosen red guitars - hence the blog title, as opposed to summer holiday "blues"... We've had our first guitar lesson today from a teach yourself book and it went quite well - not too tied up with fingers, frets and strings :). So mum and son fest coming soon to a spare bedroom or a back garden near us this summer. My tennis elbow's aching a bit but I'm so looking forward to playing the guitar again for pleasure xx