The Message in the Box - find your sparkle

Dreaming of Diamonds (originally uploaded by Swamibu - http://www.flickr.com/photos/swamibu/1182138940/ )

Dear Julie

There will be dark times and at times you will feel hard-pressed but this is just part of the process. The childhood moves will be difficult but these are to get you in the right place, at the right time, to meet your true love, after a heart-breaking first marriage, and you will then know great, authentic joy. You will gain depression, but this will allow you to know yourself, to reshape and spiritually grow, teaching you what is important in life, and that even in darkness, all you need is a candle of hope and a spark. It is not for nothing that you now carry birthday cake candles in your handbag – you never know when you might want to celebrate something :). Not everyone is strong enough to withstand the pressure, but you will survive because you are brave and strong.

To make a diamond, the rarest and most precious of jewels, you take matter as dark as coal and apply the greatest pressure, but even in its uncut raw state, it is still a diamond, able to withstand the hardest things it comes into contact with. In its refining, layers and flaws are removed, as though in all the shouting and harshness of the world, it is being distilled to the quiet voice within. Although you have been broken at times, you are still a jewel shining through, and only the hardiest get to be diamonds. You are loved, and lovingly supported, it is now your time to find your sparkle :)

Love, Julie x

Sometimes my arms aren't long enough...

I'm a thinker. I think about my family and friends regularly and often wish I could put protective wings around them. I'm hopeless at writing to people to say this (but I suppose here is a start), but I think about most of them regularly. I used to be a worrier - I still am a bit - but now I try to keep the worrying to within realistic/normal parameters, rather than trying to control the uncontrollable. I wish I could give hugs and reassuring words, but I'm miles away, even hundreds or thousands of miles away from some friends, yet I find that easier for others than to give to myself, when I need that reassurance and self-belief too. For all my wings, sometimes my arms don't seem long enough to give me that hug and those comforting words, but I'm working on that.

x

A song in my heart

Last night, I went to a Community Choir workshop with my son. I've been looking for a daytime Singing for Pleasure group, as an out-of-the-house activity and interest, but nothing near me for a daytime. But there is an evening group that has not long started. It's an all abilities, all age groups, but evening things have often been a problem for me in the past to get regular babysitting for Eth, as hubby sometimes had last-minute evening appointments with his business. However, my son loves to sing, so we went together. He sang the high parts, whilst I sang with second hamonies, and we enjoyed it. At the moment, the workshop is once a month, but that was the first time I've sung in a choir since 16 :)

Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

"To make an end is to make a beginning." - T.S. Eliot

Last night we set off some Chinese wish lanterns for the New Year. My wishes were to "Say goodbye to my weight and my past" and to "Live more, fear less and believe in myself!" Had a test lantern first, then let our 3 off together, and watched them fly away. My heart felt so much lighter when we went back in the house :)

Happy 2011 x