The New Girl

Much of my time at primary schools, I was the new girl - trying to be a chameleon to blend in, to not stand out although for someone who was 5ft 9 at aged 12, this wasn't always easy :( . Some might see this as a chance to re-invent myself if traits didn't work, but it also meant that I had no real chance to grow into who I was, for as soon as I established myself as more than the new girl, I was ripped away to start again without being able to build on who I was, me. I was always trying to find that elusive combination that would ensure that people liked me, but they didn't and only now do I realise that I wouldn't want everyone to like for me to please everyone because that leaves me out of the equation. I need to try to work who I am, to move further forward.

Intentionally blank

For a time I did a number of professional, printed exams and it always used to make me smile when I saw phrases along the lines of "This page is left intentionally blank" to let you know that there were no questions to answer on that page, no marks missed in the blind panic that could be exams. But in my mind I could hear my grandfather's chuckle when in the many years before we would see the road signs for "Tractors turning" "...but into what?" he would add with a smile and a snigger. For surely by printing "This page is left intentionally blank" it is no longer blank :) ;)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A676280

Bursting out

A few years ago we went to a sculpture park and I photographed one of the art pieces, as it was so beautiful: the human form bursting from the wood. On my walk the other day, I found a tree and it reminded me of that sculpture, but this was a form as nature carved, but in my eyes, just as beautiful.

Blank page

Blank page

Unformed ideas

Staring back

No words.

Silent, empty

Nothing today

Blank page.

Then suddenly the words flow

Like a river bursting through

Ideas, pictures

Swept along

A jumble of creativity

Such can be the day.

xx

Diamonds in the Rain

I saw this cobweb on one of the bushes in our drive this morning and just had to take a picture of it. It reminded me that even in the rain diamonds still shine and that all sorts of things and people can be diamonds in the rain.

xx

Obeying the Signs

The last few weeks I've been empty - shattered from my final essay work for my Open University course, a touch of the Brian Kennedy post-concert Blues, worn-out from mental health assessments for my continuing depression and binge eating, and I also have shingles at the moment which I half expected as I've usually come down with shingles when I've been dealing with my childhood issues - 4 times in 11 years, so far. Rarely do I get many spots but I get terrible tingles on my arms, chest, soles of feet and face, so I've been trying to build myself back up from the emptiness I've felt.

Thursday I decided to go for a walk. I'm not contagious with shingles, but usually it drains my energy, and I felt the need for cold air against the skin. So armed with my camera, I took a walk around a local lakeside, to see what appeared that crispish morning. I decided to obey the signs and walk a while, stopping and staring, as the pictures below show. So as you look at this small selection, think about obeying these signs, and sit a while with me... :)

(There's a lakeside miniature railway and the signs are to do with that, but why rush with views like that on a beautiful, clear day :) ) xx