Today I realised that by reliving the past (by holding onto it and re-playing the bad bits) doesn’t make it perfect in the sense of the best thing ever. The past is already perfect but in the sense that it is finished because it is the past. It’s not a Groundhog Day thing that can be changed until it’s right. But until you learn that lesson the mistaken belief that it can be changed is repeated until you move on. My counsellor set me the task of not thinking about my past and it has been difficult, but I am concentrating on the present – remembering to breathe, using all my senses (not just my brain and memory) and leaving trying to control or predict the uncertainty of the future to others.
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