Probably one of my biggest fears comes from not really know who I am - the fear that I am nothing, a nobody. Most people see themselves as defined by their roots, their locality or character. I moved so much that I often feel that I had no roots, no "home" and not enough time anywhere to develop a character, no sense of self.
Upto 16 years ago, ask what I called "home" and it would be my mum's house and not my own with my then husband. I was defined by my academic achievements, a job I hated, somebody's wife. Although the place where I lived then was very beautiful, half-way up the Malvern Hills and looking out onto the Severn Valley, it wasn't home, where you could be who you wanted to be, to me. Not that home was ever truly that to me in those days.
I am still trying to find me but at least now I have a home.
xx
3 comments:
Hi jewel,
I can identify with what you have shared here.
It is so positive to note that in your ongoing quest to find 'you; you have found home, and of course, that old saying goes, 'home is where the heart is'.
Keep moving forward jewel.
Warm wishes, your way, Gary x
Compassion is the soul of community. At least, that's how I feel. I refuse to give a physical location the title of 'home', having discovered it truly resides in my heart. You've been living there for almost a year! xx
Hello Jewel
I think you have the right attitude about "home". If you are happy where you are, then that is home. When defining yourself, you want to be careful and not fall into the trap of labelling yourself just because society sees you a certain. It is what is inside that counts. It's like listening for the voice of God, and everybody is cowering and covering their ears when really it is the tiny little voice inside that is the almighty!
Peace.
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