Bingeing

The last few weeks have been hard.

Pandora's box hasn't shut as I've been for an appointment with "my" psychiatrist to access help for my binge eating and issues with the past, and am hopeful of receiving some longer-term, perhaps psychodynamic, counselling. But because of all this picking over the past, particularly over some things I had managed to forget or have less in the foreground of my mind, my anxiety levels have increased and my bingeing has returned. The positive is that I'm still lower than the weight I was when I started in November, but the scales said 16st 4 this morning. I've managed to fight the urge to binge today and tomorrow should be easier as hubby and son are about, so I won't binge. I've had 2 very mild panic attacks this week, either that or it's sugar craving brought back by the bingeing - I got in from Tescos weekly shop and just had to sit down as I was so shaky and anxious. This week I've brought a lot more fruit and less crisps. I've another psych appointment today re my pension refund and then "my" psychiatrist wants to see me and hubby in just under a month to discuss "the way forward". I so want to be positive, but I have to admit I'm not looking forward to relooking at my past, its pain and the negative effect it has on me, but know that I have to do this to release the poison and get it out.

xx